The End.
Where do I begin?
The past few weeks have been a frenzy of euphoria, tears, chaos, love and happiness. Since my last post, I have finished all my classes, said goodbye to people I may never see again (not to be dramatic or anything), and moved out of Dunedin. I actually am now in Wellington, on my last leg of a little post-semester solo travel. I have already visited Christchurch (meh), Kaikoura (SO BEAUTIFUL), and was in Picton (so picturesque) for a few hours while I waited for the Picton-Wellington ferry. As expected, I love Wellington. It’s so green and lush and sort of hippy and cool. But now, I must tell you about The End.
Exam season. I was actually less busy than during the semester because I didn’t study very hard for my finals (it wasn’t necessary). So I had a bit too much free time to reminisce (good) and ruminate (bad). I wasn’t too stressed out for finals which was nice, even though one of them was worth 70% of my grade. Instead, I tried to soak up as much quality Dunedin time as possible. My emotions were all over the place, and quite often I would just tear up randomly. I don’t even know how to describe the feeling of The End, other than feeling like you’re on a conveyor belt inching you towards the Final Day slowly but surely, and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Whenever I thought about The End, I instantly got a massive pit in my stomach. With each exam that I wrote, I got home and felt some dread because I was one step closer to leaving. But, one day that was really fun was going to Larnach castle with Rory and Aidan. It felt as if we were in a magical, foggy fairy land. It was a great break from exams! We took the bus out to the peninsula and then hiked up a mountain and the ticket lady told us she thought she was hallucinating three figures emerging from the fog. We did the whole ordeal with high tea and we really did not belong (in a fun way).
Another thing I started feeling was scared to go home, and to slot perfectly back into my old life, like nothing has changed. Once I'm there, I know everything will resume and there will be new things to look forward to, but being in a limbo state has felt really strange. And of course I am really grateful and glad that I have friends and family and people that will welcome me back, but I almost thought exchange would never end. It was magical, perfect, fairy land, and everything happened exactly as it needed to. I wouldn't change anything.
The last few weeks involved many, many visits to the botans. And many, many goodbyes. Emily was the first to go (a week before my last day), and her leaving marked the beginning of the end. After that, it didn't stop. In particular, the last three days in Dunedin were crazy.
Monday the 16th. Rory and I finished our last exam (computer science), and went to get a sweetie together. Then, a big group went climbing (Benjamin, Harper, Sarah, Rory, Savage, me) (I just want to emphasize how much I have loved climbing here; the gym was great and in Montreal I don't have as many people to climb with). Then my flat went to Jizo; the final flat dinner, at a restaurant this time! We ordered so much food the waitress was concerned ('this is a lot of food, are you guys sure you want this much'). Then we watched How to Train Your Dragon and Kung Fu Panda (toothless was SOOO cute in HTTYD I could barely handle it -- I really need to cuddle my pets).
Tuesday the 17th. Flat inspection, our flat had never been so clean. Rory was furiously removing all their posters and playing angry music, I took all my posters down as well (devastating). We played a little trick on the inspector. The four of us were sat on Rory's bed, then when the inspector went into Aidan's room, we all ran over to my bed, and the inspector pretended to have no idea and acted surprised to see us all again (good sport putting up with our flat shenanigans). Then we made collage posters and our flat became very messy again HAHA. Then I said goodbye to the Otago Museum (I LOVE that all the museums in NZ are free). Then we (me, Maddie, Clara) had the last games night (missing Emily :/) and also made chocolate chip cookies together.
Wednesday the 18th. We went for brunch at the Governor's Cafe with our flat + Summer. Then, Summer and I walked home and she invited me over to cuddle with Feta, the cat that visits their flat. Then, after Aidan's last final, our flat went to the botans. We talked to the ducks and sat on the benches overlooking the gardens. Finally, we went for dinner with all the Brits (Lizzy, Mo, Jess), our flat, and a few extras. My flat and Jess played charades at the table. I love that my flat goes places as a unit. We are a squad. I love that we can climb together, go tramping together, watch movies, celebrate birthdays, do flat dinner, and have fun. This was the last night in Dunedin. My flat stayed up very late watching movies, and so did Maddie and Clara's flat. The idea was to squeeze the life out of every moment, up until the last hour. Rory and I dropped off our keys together. I left at 7:30AM the next morning. The next day I was extremely sleep deprived, and I did nothing but cry in Christchurch (ya mom, I know the lack of sleep probably didn't help but that's ok). Anyway, I think you all get the picture.
I hope I am leaving NZ better than how I arrived. I learned so many things. Letting go (giving up control and diving headfirst into a worthwhile adventure), learning that people are real even if NZ is 'fake', learning to be kinder and softer (to myself and the people around me), and learning to trust myself and my choices. I feel more capable (in almost everything: school, traveling, moving, making friends), and happy. I honestly feel proud of myself, for being able build worthwhile friendships in such a short amount of time. I know that many exchange students can say the same thing, because exchange is set up to facilitate that type of life, but still. I met some really nice people that I will love for a long time. For example, my flat (Rory, Aidan, Savage) had such a great, positive, energetic bond. Being around them made me feel like I was a child, in that the stressors of the world would just melt away. Not that it's a competition, but I had the best flat. Becoming really close with Emily was such a blessing that probably wouldn't have happened at home. I have grown so fond of her, and we travel so well together, and have now experienced a life-changing semester together, and we get to be at home at McGill together, and that's so special. I am so glad we were there together. The weekend trip with Maddie and Clara to 'Liverpool hut' was incredible, and so were our weekly games nights after (which we kept going until the very end, every Tuesday). Meeting Veronica at Orokonui Ecosanctuary and quickly becoming a little trio (incl. Emily) doing weekly dinners and going to the rugby game was such a blessing. And Kami, who I met on the very first day at orientation, who we went to Stewart Island with and with whom I had many yap sessions. And our neighbor (and Aidan's friend from home) Benjamin who I went hiking and climbing with many a time and who has a contagious laugh. There are so many others who I could write about but this post would never end (but I'll tell anyone who will listen back home). And the sweet Summer (who is a kiwi) because we clung to each other like glue during parties, she knows so much about me, and when I said, "we would actually be friends in real life", she said, "but this is real life".
